Eve’s Story
From Let Him Chase You by Lynn Gilliard 15 days have gone by since their first date. 3 days have gone by since he last called or texted her. 7 days have gone by since he last set up a date with her. And it …
Tag: dating and relationships
“Dueling Wills” and Self-Sabotage
Do you ever feel like you’re fighting with yourself? Is self-sabotage the real reason why you’re not where you want to be in life? So there I was. Vegetables and fruit spread all over my kitchen table on a bright and sunny Saturday afternoon. I …
Relationship Advice: Change Your Dating Pool
Have you ever heard the phrase “if you keep doing the same thing you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting the same results?”
Or “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results?”
Well that advice certainly applies to love, relationships and dating. If you keep going to the same places and doing the same things to attract guys, it’s more than likely you’ll keep getting the same results in your relationships and dating experiences.
For example, if you go to a specific type of bar or a club to meet guys, you’re going to keep meeting the same or similar quality of guys over and over again. They tend to hang out on the same places. Think about it: what type of guys are in the nightclubs? Ones looking for quick hookups with drunk ladies or guys who are cheating or guys who probably don’t have a lot of responsibility in their lives. This isn’t the pool you want to be swimming in unless you want new drama in your life.
If you have used a specific online dating site repeatedly to meet men and every encounter has been a disaster, maybe it’s time to retire that account.
Back in the day, I would sometimes browse the personals section on Craigslist. Insanity. There are so many idiots, perverts and potentially dangerous guys on that open public forum — just don’t do it!
Alternative Dating Pools
I am an advocate of meeting people in one of these ways:
– In a safe group setting, like an upscale, classy singles event or a carefully chosen meetup outing.
– At a cultural event, like an art show, library book reading, museum opening, or even a networking event for business professionals.
– From a referral by a close friend — someone who knows both you and the other person.
– At a party held by friends who invite various people from their social circle.
– At events thrown at colleges or your own school’s homecoming events.
Nowadays there are unfortunately a lot of creepy guys out there, so you don’t want to find yourself in murky waters when dating. So change your social habits to change your dating pool — search for events and gatherings where you’ll find a better quality of guys to socialize with.
Love Lynn
Dating & Relationships: How Do You Know That It’s Real?
According to the U.S. Census Bureau as of 2012, 112 million Americans over the age of 18 are unmarried. That number makes up almost half of the adult population. In years past, you were expected to have a quality long-term relationship and eventually a marriage …
It Doesn’t Really Mean Anything Until He Shows You Something
Sometimes we women will give men the benefit of the doubt and trust their words way too soon — even before the guy makes good on that word. One thing I have learned (the hard way) is that a person’s word means little to nothing without …
The Alcohol’s Playing Tricks on You: Drinking on a Date Can Fool You Into Believing There’s a Bond There
You’re out on your second, maybe third date with a guy that you really like. You’ve had a few drinks — maybe more. You’re having a wonderful time and the endorphins are flowing. You suddenly get the feeling that this guy might actually be the one for you. Finally! It feels like you’ve made a special connection…
So you sleep with him. The morning after you feel a bit awkward but kiss your goodbyes feeling as if things will continue to go on as they have been.
A day goes by… No call or text. A few more days go by… still nothing. Over a week has passed and the guy you thought you had such a great connection with hasn’t even bothered to text you to say “hi” after sleeping with you.
Blame it On the Alcohol?
In my book Let Him Chase You, I am adamant about waiting until a bond has formed between you and a guy before being intimate IF you want the relationship to go somewhere. That bond could be a real friendship or a special connection through an experience (you guys went through something tough together). Some women choose to wait until the bond of marriage. The bottom line is, if you don’t have that bond with someone first you are at a high risk of becoming a victim in the scenario mentioned earlier.
Alcohol can make you falsely think you have a connection with someone when you actually don’t. It removes your inhibitions and makes you feel as if you’re having the time of your life. It also gives you those “beer goggles” that causes any guy to look really good. But once the drink has worn off and the deed is done, you know that you’ve probably made a big mistake.
The Solution
The solution is simple. Be careful when drinking alcohol on a date with someone you’re just getting to know. Set a firm limit on the number of drinks you’ll have (no more than two) so that you’ll have a clear head the whole time and not be swayed by the extra dopamine being released into your brain when you drink alcohol. You should be sober and certain when and if you decide that it’s time to be intimate with a guy that you’re dating.
Love Lynn
Let Him Chase YOU: Sometimes It’s Not Meant to Be… But We Women Force It Anyway!
In her amazing book The Power, Rhonda Byrne tells the story of a woman who envisioned having a white Calla Lily in her hand. When she went to a friend’s dinner party there on the table was a vase full of white Calla Lilies. But …
Relax, Relate, Release Your Way to Better Dating & Relationships
There was a classic scene in one of my favorite television shows from the 90s called It’s a Different World. In it, the main character Whitley Gilbert (played by actress Jasmine Guy) was in a counseling session with a therapist played by actress Debbie Allen. …
New Book: Survive, Live or Thrive? by L. Lynn Gilliard
New Book:
Survive, Live or Thrive?
by L. Lynn Gilliard
This is a guide for those who feel that they may be stuck in a rut in one or more areas of their life, including:
– pursuing your dreams
– making good money
– dating and love relationships
– family relationships
– self-love
Though the book is specifically targeted for women who are experiencing challenges in their lives, the concepts apply to everyone. Fueled by the idea that life is meant to be easy and enjoyable, it is loaded with stories, blog posts from Lynn’s websites and other inspirations and thoughts to help propel you to the ultimate goal: THRIVING in every area of your life.
Amazon Paperback AVAILABLE NOW
Audio version – Coming soon
Men Do Want to Know That You’re Interested
A lot of women (myself included) believe that when you first meet a guy, playing hard to get is the right way to go. That may be true to a certain extent, but not to the point of indifference (not answering messages, acting as if …